Hedy and Me
It's one of those average evenings I spend flipping through Netflix, looking for something good to watch. Colorful tiles of movie posters slide across my iPhone screen beneath my finger. I stop at a black and white photo of a gorgeous woman with a halo of stars surrounding her head and the title BOMBSHELL written above her. It is a documentary about Hedy Lamarr, one of the most gorgeous actresses to ever grace the silver screen.
For those of you who don't know too much about Ms.Lamarr, she was an Austrian born 1940's actress. What people don't know is that she was also a brilliant inventor. Hedy patented an idea for a "Secret Communications System" with the hope this technology would defeat the Nazi's in WWII. This same technology became the back bone for modern day wireless communications such as cellular phones, fax machines, wifi, and Bluetooth. However, she struggled in life as her accomplishments were never taken seriously due to her outstanding beauty and femininity.
Even today, we can find ourselves compromising beauty to be taken seriously in the work place. Or downplaying our mental brilliance to be considered beautiful.
As a child, I doodled fashion designs across napkins, newspapers, notebooks and any scrap of paper I could find. I chose a high school separate from where my friends would be attending because I found the last bay area high school to offer sewing classes as an elective. Following 3 years of sewing classes, I stepped out into the world ... well, in the height of the recession! People where losing their jobs left and right. They were flocking back to college to get degrees in different fields. I was told "get a degree for a job that the economy will always need." And so, I bounced around different medical fields for a few years, finally to just peruse the work force.
My mother always said, "Always look your best. You never know who you are going to meet." Words I have lived by my whole life. I grew up with people who always had pride in their appearance around me. I would never see a family member of mine walking in public wearing pajama bottoms. However, sometimes looking your best can come at a cost. A cost to how people perceive you and your capabilities.
Believe it or not, life has lead me to work in construction on the project management end of things. But there is a hard balance to be taken seriously, while still wanting to remain feminine and have an interest in style. I recall walking into my first day at work at the last general contracting company I worked for. I began my career as a job site administrator. On that day, I woke up, put my makeup on, styled my hair and put my heels on. I felt confident. Good. But, as I walked in I was greeted by up and down looks of disapproval and became subjected to daily snide comments like "you know you can't wear heels at a job site, right?" No, duh? Apparently having pride in my appearance meant that I had also become an airhead. In fact, my heels became the sole source of debate and conversation for months while I trained in the main office. Sitting in an administrative meeting, I listened attentively as safety protocols were discussed. We got to the topic of not wearing open-toed sandals at work. My coworker across the table from me, whipped her finger in my direction proclaiming, "Elizabeth is wearing open-toe shoes!" My manager looked under the table at my BCBG cream and red peep toed heels which boasted one big toe nail peeking through and said, "that not considered open-toe." When I finally went to my job site, my senior superintendent took me aside to advise me to "cover up" so that I didn't distract the men on the job site. I wore, jeans, steel toed work boots and warm tops up to my neck. But I still did my hair everyday and wore my makeup.
Now, working in the heart of downtown, I find myself the source of the same ridicule. The elevator BINGS as it reaches my floor. I feel I look professional and confident. Working for an amazing company, I want to represent it well as an employee. But as I step off the elevator in my white, A-Line, blue striped dress, I get the no-comment-head-to-toe-look-over. Oh, I get one compliment from the nice lady in HR, but I still hear the comments through the grapevine. I am referred to as that girl who wears dresses to work. The girl who wears heels to work. Who is she trying to impress? Oh, that brainless girl who doesn't have a degree in construction management. She must be using her looks to get ahead. Couldn't have been the 10-12 hour work days I spent trying to learn more and better myself? Couldn't be the amazing mentors I had who encouraged me to strive for more? It had to be that makeup. Those heels. That dress.
All to often, our appearance which is meant to be the source of confidence can overshadow what we are capable of. Coming full circle back to Hedy. She was a brilliant woman who was never taken quite seriously due to her beauty. Now, I am no Hedy Lamarr by any means, but I know what it is to have your abilities judged by your appearance. Unfortunately, I often find it is women knocking down other women's self esteem in the work place. We as women should be raising each other up, not knocking each other down.
I won't lie, my self esteem has taken a nose dive in the past year. I have let the whispers begin to get to me and drag myself confidence down to a point where I am actually starting to believe I am incompetent. But I beg you, especially young ladies out there, KNOW YOUR WORTH. How others see you, doesn't define you. And when you let the whispers and degrading comments get to you, you are letting others win. You are letting them have power over you. Hold your heads up high and persevere. People will always have their opinions of you. It is up to you as to whether or not you let those opinions define you and your capabilities.
Please comment below and let me know if you've ever found yourself in a similar situation. :-)
